Used: (v.) to take unfair advantage of, exploit. To use people to gain one’s own ends.

Unappreciated: (v.) not an actual word(though it should be). The complete opposite of appreciated, so here it goes: to not be grateful or thankful for. To feel like what is being given is required. How I feel RIGHT now.

By almost everyone in my life… $120 here. $200. Ugg boots… Keianna’s just in the money. Now it’s not that I don’t want to give… Not it at all.

Ok. I’m just going to start. I would bend over backwards for anyone… I told a friend of mine not so long ago, who was having a hard time “I know that it is in you to give and be helpful, but what happens when not only do you not have anything to give them but to yourself?” And know those words are my own.

I understand that things are tight but by not acknowledging that you continually ask for a bit here and there but never say “oh I know that I got that from you I just don’t have it right now,” you are taking advantage. Or the look that you gave me “Babe, could you just add a little bit more so I can have a little bit more?” Once again taking advantage.

Now I know that this may not make the most sense. I am just not at the point to open up completely yet. You’re new to my life. But I digress.

Now I realize you ask for things and if I can’t get it. I just can’t and you will understand.

But I do know why I never tried to completely end that chapter and start a new one. It takes a lot to start over because you have to be open and transparent to make it work. Goodbye. Closed chapters.

So today I am making it known. I.AM . TIRED. Of everything. Taking a backseat. Not having the life I want. Settling. I WILL NO LONGER SETTLE. Until next time: my drink of choice is: Sol Angel and the Hadley St. Dreams. Nail polish: navy blue.

Advertisements