So with the hype of all of the songs that reference Independent women, my sister and I found ourselves wondering what they are actually trying to say and asking ourselves do they really want what they think they want. I have listened to most of the current and not so current circulations of the songs; some of which have good beats and catchy choruses and some of them have some interesting wording.

One day Webbie’s Independent was on and I was dancing to it…undeniably the beat is super dope. My sister was like “I can’t deny the song is dope but why do I feel like these dudes tryna be lazy?” And I think I can understand the point of a woman being about her money and how that can make her more appealing. My sister’s thought was if I’m getting my money what are you doing? And I guess a ballin’ chick is good until you factor in that if she’s all about her money she’s not about you. Now by no means am I downing a chick who is getting paid, for all who didn’t know I “gets” mine.  I was listening to Neyo’s She Got Own where he says” I love her ’cause she got her own She don’t need mine, she said leave mine alone There ain’t nothin that’s more sexy Than a girl that want but don’t need me” And I guess in a theory any dude would love that just the same a bust it baby[1], but that is another blog entirely. Back to the original point. In theory a bad chick with her own paper is dope. But I want any dude who is chasing that girl to beware. I will introduce you to her.

Hello, I am that girl. I have my own and the way I see it is if your stacks don’t at least double mine, do we really have anything to talk about? I work hard for my money and you should have more benefits than I do. To approach me you need to have at least 6 figure paycheck, foreign car, deep pockets to take me anywhere that I could ever fathom. If you don’t have pedigree you don’t have a chance with me. Baby if you take me to the store and you ain’t rollin AMEX Black then I’m bouncing.

Funny?  The clearest picture of the girl in she got her own. The girl in Neyo’s song is the cleverest of gold diggers. She’s paid. She doesn’t need your money… But she sure will spend it without hesitation. And understand I am not a hater. Not in the least but once again I “gets” mine, so I understand loving making your own money but I also understand if you can get a dude with paper you don’t have to spend your own. And this is the girl from Neyo’s song.

But flipside the brainwashing of the Independent Female… The chick that believes she don’t need a dude. She has everything that she needs and she got it on her own. She doesn’t need you for anything at all. And she ain’t trippin’.  Beyonce says in Independent Women pt1The shoes on my feet I bought it The clothes I’m wearing I bought it The rock I’m rockin’ ’cause I depend on me If I wanted the watch you’re wearin’ I bought it The house I live in I bought it The car I’m driving I bought it I depend on me”  A woman, whom no one could debate that she has done the dang thang herself, goes on to write a song about women not only buying for themselves but for their boo also and reminding him of it. That is how I read. By the way she’s not doing that she’s just Upgrading you. It brings me to something from a while ago. During my campus days in Maryland, I had this boyfriend and one day we were in my room eating sub sandwiches… And he had finished his found and his soda and reaches for mine….Seeing how much was in my bottle I asked him to wait until I had finished my food and he did…When I go to reach for my soda he snatches it up before I get to it… Trust and believe I was pissed… At which time I say “You’ve already finished your soda. Can I at least get a drink of my soda?” at which time he responds “That I bought”…At which I had to advised him that if he was always going to remind me of things that he bought me to not buy anything for me anymore… It’s childish. And that was the end. Point? Point being that when Destiny’s Child sings “The watch on your wrist I bought it” is reminding dude that you got him something. Now people who know me know I love shopping for dudes so when birthday’s come I get dope gifts. I love a man in a dope suit. Side note. I buy killer ties. Another side note. But I have never had to remind any dude or any one that I got them something. The only time you need to let someone know that you bought them something is when you need attention and that is so unattractive… I hate “look at me” personalities.

So this did start somewhere and I am finding this post’s center. And here it is. There is nothing wrong with being a woman, or man for that matter, with your own paper but if you want to build anything you will need more than money to do so. And by no means am I saying that money is worthless… I go to work EVERYDAY for the money. But right now I am just me and one day when a man that can handle the fact that I enjoy pampering myself so why should we do the same we other if we have it, we will be cool. I recall being in my training class at my job and we took a break and started discussing what we would want to do with our life…And I said that I want to be able to be a stay at home mom one day… And one of the girls in my class tells me that I need to take a women’s studies class at the nearest community college… At which I tell her “I have taken multiple women’s studies classes at the college level and staying at home with my children does not make weak or any less smart.” And which time she responds “Well I just want to be able to just get up and go to Hawaii and spend $100 on myself.” and I responded “I want to be able to go to Hawaii and be able to spend $100,000 on my family”. That said my point is having and spending money is not terrible but what are you spending on and with whom.

So right now I am self portrait drinking Kelly Clarkson- Miss Independent with chipped cherry red on.

[1]  Bust it baby- A girl that is good in all aspects. For example, she walks like a model, great kisser, attitude on point, from the hood but she speaks proper, “sex game” is described as amazing, she’s not nagging and respects a guy and give him space when necessary, eases a dude’s mind. Basically a hood nigga’s dream girl.