Time and time again I defined myself and my mood by the music I listened to.  So if I was upset I was on some Kelis Caught out there… When I was feeling emotional zoning on Danity Kane Poetry… If I felt loved I was on almost anything Beyonce… When I was feeling real I was on some Lyfe Jennings Stick up Kid stuff.

And the good thing about music is that it expresses you. Have you ever heard a song that made you feel like “yo I feel like that sometimes”? I have many many times. There are songs that make me cry or want to cry. I have also listen to songs that I loved because it covered my real emotion. But have you ever got out of relationship and felt like every song was about your relationship. And in reality its not! Just for those you who feel like it really is. Neyo was not talking about you when he wrote Irreplaceable for Beyonce.

And this is not coming from a place that wishes to burst you emotional music bubble. I just realize how much I invested in music. I enjoy it a lot… And I don’t plan on that changing any time soon. However, I tattooed his name on my song. And it won’t come off. Because I gave it to him. I told him it was ours… But it wasn’t, it was mine. I loved that song before I loved him. And I gave it away because I thought he loved me. I thought we would share it. And we did. But then we didn’t. It’s his now and he doesn’t even enjoy it. I enjoyed it.

So as I was mentioning, music is a window into your heart. Look into you mp3 or whatever gadget you have and think about how you felt when you hear the song or when you downloaded the song. It tells on you. I hated him. I love him. My girls. My boys. Money.  Everything that you felt is in you song.  You feel your music won’t betray you. But you’ve betrayed it. And it will betray you. Those days in your car with your ipod hooked into you stereo with your boys (for dudes) and the shuffle is on and the song that comes on is Fergie Glamorous.  Betrayal.

My thoughts on my music have ran rapid. Not that I am saying not to dedicate any song to anyone. I want you to understand that relationships end, people die, and friendships rot. But also relationships flourish, people thrive, and friendships bring joy. Weigh you pros and cons. Tattoos are kinda permanent. So I’m just going to my music to myself for a while.

I  am inquisitively drink Beyonce’s Flaw and All mixed with Beyonce’s Woman like me with flawlessly short black nails.

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