So I apologize but I have sort of retreated by to my cards and shades. I am just lacking the comfortably to open myself up. And no its nothing to do with anything that anyone has said, done, or insinuated. I just feel like a being a recluse.

Okay. So as most are well aware I am fairly recently out of a relationship. And I gave a lot of myself in a fairly short amount of time. I opened up in a way that previously I had never considered…  And as I have come to realize the part about ending the relationship that hurts the most is that the world that was built had to be kicked over.  Why do I feel that way? I have never been so comfortable with a person male or female. And in a matter of days it was like instant bff.

So fast forward today I kind of scared that if I let someone else all the way in they will have my secrets, my heart, and my world then not be worth it. I have lost friends many many many times over. Friends, all of know and knew me well. So should I not open up? Maintain my personal mind space? Or continue to be selective with whom I share my life?

Well the thing is I love to be close to people and by keep people at arms length it prevents them from getting close to you. And that kind of is not the point. I love the people in my life. But they have been here a long time. I try not to set myself up for short term relationships be it friends, jobs, or whatever, I want things that will stick around.

So I am gripping my Dolce shades for right now. It’s not always going to be like this I just like being a shade wearing chick for a bit…

Ps I love you… dj

I big gulp drink Danity Kane’s Damaged in neon purple splash.

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