Okay. So I had a very different train of thought before I began this blog. I don’t know maybe this will kind of tie end someday. But today I feel compelled to write about something I have witnessed and my true feelings about this situation.

So I have strong feelings about the bonds that people make with other people. And that could possibly be why I am so blown away by the events that have recently taken place. Possibly it’s the way my parents have raised me but I digress. So here goes everything.

Description of scene: Man with 2 children meets a woman with 3 children. They get married and have a child of their own. Child count 6. They life  considerable marital bliss for sometime though his children decided to live with their biological mother and her oldest son decided it was time for him to spread his wings. Child count; in house :3 outside house :3. They maintain lavish lifestyles until an accident causes the woman not  be able to work and with the man being a musician that sometimes plays for restaurants and churches to have endured a dramatic loss of income. So much so that they could no longer afford their home. They then find solace in the home of a relative. A relative who has a family of 5 of their own.  So the house count is 2 families 4 parents 1 grown child  3 teenagers and 1 child. As time passes, issues within the couple (blended family) begin to surface. One day it comes to a head. He decides he is leaving. Leaving his wife, child, and “her children.” He doesn’t feel that he’s selfish. He doesn’t want to be there. His Wife has nothing but their child and “her children”. He says she never treated his children the way that she treated his. He says she once pushed his mother 7years ago. She tries to keep him with her. But he doesn’t want to stay. He wants to leave. And he does. Before leaving he tries to take their child with him and she refuses. And he vanishes into the night.

Okay now the situation has brought many different things to my mind. Now I know that I easily could have been a child raised in a single parent or blended family household, but I have a problem with them for the most part. People who entangle themselves in these fantasies rarely entertain reality. How do I figure? People see a Ashton Kutcher/Demi Moore/ Bruce Willis perfect blended family image but they don’t see the evident reality that a lot of emotions need to be checked before subscribing to this life.

The first thing with families blended the way the scene family are they bring a lot of issues and if they are not address head on it will be a terrible problem. It is a terrible to hold a grudge deep for years over someone and either bring it up all of the time or carry it without letting them know but punish them for it. Also a problem arises is when their are multiple children with the same biological parents the issue of favoritism comes up but it is even more forefront when it involves multiple parents and children. Some people can not get over it and it will eat at both parents and children until it can not be overlooked any longer.

I think of the parents who put their children in this situation as selfish. Generally, they don’t truly weigh the pros and cons on how this will effect their children. Many times they believe their children will just deal but the problem with that is once you decide that you will be a parent your main focus should always be your child over any potential relationship. By entering and exiting relationships and marriages you are at the very least setting a poor example of what family is supposed to be. I don’t understand why anyone would marry multiple times. Outside of the obvious humiliation of everyone knowing that you’ve failed a marriage before; how do start a new marriage without the old mess the ruined your prior marriage? In cases where a marriage has failed I don’t believe there are innocent parties so if you don’t deal with the issues they will only resurface. How dare you overlook your faults and someone else’s to have what you believe is a new start.

The thing I felt was the most disturbing is to see a man leave the people he once called his family with what appeared to be not a care in the world. It was just like you would see on TV, only in real-life, live, and in color. How do you decide to marry a woman with children from other marriages and other men but also decide her children aren’t your children? And how do you turn and walk away from the person you made vows to?

I don’t know many people say that I am young or naieve. I don’t believe so; I don’t understand people’s rationale. I don’t think I would be able to marry if I failed one prior. Not saying that I plan to fail a marriage I just can’t see myself wanting to put myself through that obvious strain of starting a new marriage with a new man. I’m not a pessimist nor am I a hater of marriage or love. I just think that people don’t think clearly and they allow themselves to be immerged in a situation that was not intended for them because they did not exerise better judgement.  The bible says in Matthew 6:25-34: 

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[b]?

 28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

 How do I tie all of this in together?  Many people don’t  seek advisce prior to making a major life change. They do then ask. When we talk about marriage why not seek counsel prior to? God said don’t worry about it… “It’s cool I got it” and you trying to play God by working it out for you. How did worrying about what relationship you were going to be in or the fact that you might die alone benefit the you, world, others, or God? I understand that rationale, really I do. Why ask for something when you already know what the answer is? These are my words just a bit of the world that I have recently experianced.

I am a bystander watching a sterotypical move while purposefully drinking [revision] Destiny’s Child’s Through with love with troubled Shocking Pink.