Have you ever felt like something wasn’t too good to be true but too good to stay true? Have you felt that if there is anything that you want just a little too much could vanish before you ever really got a chance to experience them? I know that I have. Finding yourself in deep thought about the reality of your dream.

I was thinking about the many times we find ourselves in that place. Anxiously waiting for something or someone to let us down. If it’s just me I understand. I have learned that time and time again we force people and things to stand up through the test of time because of something someone or something else did.

If you get an umbrella from a certain company and within weeks the umbrella breaks during its first encounter with the elements, you would then seek a seemingly more sturdy umbrella. You would look for one that would uphold is condition to protect you from the weather the way the product was supposed to. From that point on you may have bias against that brand of umbrella when the reality may be that the one umbrella had the issue not the complete make.

There comes a time in one’s life when they see that what they see and feel may be different. And in essence I guess that is fine. I have found within myself the reality of today side by side with the reality of yesterday. Looking within myself trying to see why the difference is so drastic. Thinking on those things can make one analyze and re-analyze something that is not meant to be analyze. Re-living experiances that could cause silent beefs but ultimately to put in a box and never to deal with. What is more detremental, saying how one feels even if it makes them seem a little weak or file the emotions/feelings away and eat them in private? I really don’t know I can’t answer because that is where I am. I am at a crossroads of what I feel and what is. Truth is I feel a certain way and really don’t know how to address it. So until I can either find a big girl pill to address it or this trully doesn’t bother me any more, I’m just here.

The worse of all of the situations is when people cause people in their lives to make up for mistakes that they didn’t make. How would you feel to know that paying extra because someone else fell short. All day everyday you know that you are working against the past. It’s hard. I know that it’s also hard to see what is in front of you versus what is behind you. Some make it a better progression then others but I challenge all of those who know that today’s reality is a little be harder than yesterday’s not to make today’s reality pay for yesterday’s short comings.

Intensively drinking in Video and Get it Together by India Arie with a clear conscience.