Reposted from July 12, 2009; in the Transfer from eccentricrelaxtion.com to imagoodgrl.wordpress.com this posting was lost. So here it is for your reading pleasure.
On Facebook there is a place when it states ones relationship status: single, open, in a relationship, engaged, married, widowed, and it’s complicated. Day after day I see friends and aquaintances who have stated that their relationship is complicated. I assume the point of the it’s complicated relationship status is that you’re kinda in limbo between an defined relationship and and open one or that someone is deciding whether or not that relationship is where they want to be. My question at that point is: Isn’t life itself complicated? And if you agree, who or what is making yours more complicated?
So I have two friends who have rather complicated situations within their complicated lifes. One is a live-in girlfriend to a man with three children by another woman. The other is a live-in girlfriend to a guy who lives at home with his parents. So as you can see these are complicated situations. While at lunch both friends and myself were talking about the requests one makes of the man in their life and what one actually gets in return. A male friend joins the conversation at which time he tells us that “you choose your emotions.” Basically saying you feel a certain way because you choose to. And in response we were on his head immediately. Why? Because in essence you can not choose your emotions. One of the female friends states, “So if Paul cheated on me. I’m supposed be like Paul just cheated on me. But I’m going home to make dinner and get ready for him because I choose to be happy?” He then responds, “You choose to deal with or not. And also if you deal with it how?” Which makes sense but that wasn’t his orginal point.
I have recently began to feel that being emotional can complicate a situation. I believe when your emotions override you ability to communicate or logically assess the situation you can’t get your point across. Being emotional can change your ability to decide between what you know and what you feel. I guess I always try to logically assess situations because truthfully the wrong move could kill you. The problem with being more logical than emotional is when your emotions defy all logic you don’t know how to react. When what you feel begins to infiltrate what you know, you are forced to either fight your emotions to stay logically or ride with your emotions. The reason that is so hard for me is because I just forsee my emotions leading into the woods at night without a flashlight by myself. You may think that I’m dramatic but this is how I feel. I can only speak for myself but the reason I keep my emotions barried is because what if you can’t handle how I would feel about a certain situation, but all in the same when my emotions break past my logic I concede. So would you then say my emotional status would say It’s complicated?
So one of my friends moved on emotion and, in her eyes, love. She was maintaining this long distant relationship and one weekend goes to visit her boyfriend and when it was time for her to return home she decided not to; she moved in with his family. She says that the pain from leaving him and being without him for a long period time hurt too much to go home. Anyone who has been in a long distance relationship or in a relationship with someone you couldn’t see a lot understands that pain that she’s referring to. I then remembered how much hurts to know that the person you are in a relationship with is going to be out of physical reach for a while and I realize I could never have made that decision. I’m just too logical. Now as a result of her knee jerk decision her life is really hard. The decisions that they have made since have made their life together increasingily harder. At times it makes their life status read It’s complicated.
It was funny while at in discussion with both friends the one with the boyfriend with children said that “If it happens for you, you will fall in love and move in together, and live happily ever after.” My other friend and I look at each other and kind of chuckle, “It will definately play out different.” The difference is that I have learned a little bit in my time; I realized your life is most complicated when you settle. It really is. When you go against what you know is right or what you desereve you end up just dealing with everything as a result of a decision . It’s in the Musiq The Questions
What’ll happen if i settle and just go along with what I have
Cause there’s a difference between good and great
And good wasn’t built to last
So today I ask no urge you to look within yourself and your life to see where you find life is most complicated and find the source of it. Once the source has been found do one of two things resolve it or remember it. Resolve it meaning see if there is anyway to make it no longer complicated and do that. Uncomplicating a situation is not always easy but is always necessary. Remember it meaning don’t make the same faulty decision later. The problem with it’s complicated situations is once they have been either resolved we tend to forget them and when another possible it’s complicated situation is brewing we don’t remember what it took to resolve, demolish, or escape the last one. Live and learn.
Reflectivily drinking Pharrel’s Frontin’ while in some like it hot.