To whom it may concern:

I know just as well as anyone else what it feels like to be in love and what it feels like to want to have someone in your life to love. I have been alarmed with the things that I have bear witness to; People who have put milestones aside to feed into their desires to be needed.

In the past year or so I have had friends have drastic and heart wrenching halts to engagements, deterioration of long term relationships, relationships ended due to dormant lies, and friends entering relationships of doom and confusion. 

I am concerned and a little bit aggravated with the happenings of those close to me. Friends, family, and readers, reality is reality and life is not a dream. I don’t want to sound like a pessimist while those close to me know that I am in a very happy place in my life. But the reality is this: many of us want so much from life and a mate that sometimes we consider settling. We find ourselves feeling like no one would understand our baggage, hang-ups, faults, quirks, damages and when someone does we get comfortable there. We overlook or make excuses for things that we’ve always disliked or saw as downfalls because they seemingly aren’t bothered by our “stuff”, so we take theirs. As someone who dealt with a lot of “stuff” I have learned that it you end up hating the fact that you dealt with so much for so long.

 Why is it that when we have a new love our lives dramatically change? When did I realize that love had changed my life? When my 2000+ rollover minutes turned into 70 minutes. For almost a year I didn’t use my anytime minutes but when I really started to get know this guy we talked more and I literally had to change my network to something that “allowed me to talk to [him] longer” to avoid a high bill. My ultimate question is how much is too much? When does a simple request turn into a demand? When are you too isolated? When have you lost everything and gained nothing?

 I’m not saying that I have any of the answers. Tonight I just have a lot of questions. I have seen friends of mine have their lives shattered by their relationships. I can’t lie it makes me tread a little softer. I won’t say it can’t happen to me… But I do have faith in myself enough to be able to see the sign before it is too late. I have been thinking about something that someone told me not too long ago, they said, “it’s impossible to be have a successful career and have a stable happy family.” This woman, who had 3 grown children and a husband to whom she had been married for many years, was telling me that I could not have a successful career and family. I refused to believe that it had to be that way. I am reaffirmed in my belief that you can have both a successful family and career without settling. I have reconnected with two women, who through my high school years spoke so much life into me, who did well for themselves and now have beautiful families. Through all they taught me in my high school years I can only believe that they did not cave to the pressures and time schedules put upon them by society. I can by no means say that they have had it easy nor can I say that they have all that they want but I can say when you do not settle you get your reward.

With love