A few months ago I signed on to an AIM account that I seldomly use to retrieve an old email. Shortly after I signed in I got a instant message from my most recent ex-boyfriend. Long story short after telling him that I demanded no further contact from him in any method that is known to man, I asked him a question that I had for years. When he answered my question it only left me with more questions. I asked just the one then promptly blocked him and signed out.

This past year has consisted of me reminding him what lane is his. When I had done all that I thought of to cut the communication between he and I off, he found ways of breaking through the cracks. Each time offering nothing. This last time it was different. The reason being was the truth had come to the light. With this truth I wanted to know more. When I prepared myself to hear what would come out it took me to the levels of disappointment that I hadn’t felt in a long time. Disappointment not in the actual situation but the fact that it had taken the time that it had to come out.

As I prepared to ask more questions to understand exactly how deep the truth ran I stopped. I really asked myself how would this truth affect me? Will this change your opinion of him? No. Will this change your opinion of the situation? No. Does this change on the life that you are living today? No. Then why would you pick that old scab? Are you entitled to the information? Yes, but will you do with it? Nothing.

I was thinking today about how many times there are things in our lives we want to know or we are told things about the past that will only anger us. Things that do not better us and do not give us peace of mind. We have to get to a point where we understand that the past can not be changed so there’s no benefit to hold on to the reasons we once had for why we wanted to know something, why we didn’t like this person, why this person said or did what they did.

With the New Year rapidly approaching, I just want to encourage everyone to leave dead things among the dead. I encourage everyone to see the beauty in the things that are no longer attached to you. May this year be the best year of your life so far because you have decided to no longer hold on to things that can not help you move forward. Remember that people will only treat you the way you allow them to. So in this new year demand excellence from everyone around you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my heart and mind. I appreciate it.

With a reflective heart taking in I’m Not Missing You by Stacie Orrico while in pedal to the metal