Just a thought I had while reading a related blog post  link on a blog of a friend’s friend. As complex as it seems it has brought me to my blog because I have some thoughts that need expressing… Heads up for anyone looking for anything from my deep profound self, this is not one of those posts. That being said I would like feed back on this one.

So the post was talking about what happens with the engagement ring in the event the engagement along with the relationship has dissolved. This particular person, who happened to be male, stated that regardless of how the relationship ended they feel the person who bought the ring, typically the male, is entitled to keep said ring. I would like to point out that I have never been engaged but I been evolved in a break up or two, and I have an idea of how things would play out on this side. By this side I mean if it happened to me.

In the male mind the ring is the big thing to a female. For many it is. However for me given my history with jewelery, I would like a nice ring but I don’t need one. In the male mind once the ring is presented to the female, if they like it, they form an immediate bond with said ring. For some this is true also. My beliefs regarding who would be the owner of said ring is based on some individual principals not largely associated with those generally thought to be held of my gender. With that said let’s go through my thoughts on this topic:

In the unfortunate event of the demise of an engagement who should be the caretaker of the engagement ring? The person who paid for it. I say this in the event the break up was not a result of an infidelity or some other scandalous ordeal. The ring should go to the party that purchased or is paying for the ring. Now in the event that my engagement came to an end would I happily give the ring back? No. Would I volunteer said ring? No. If it was requested to be returned would I submit said ring to the purchaser? Yes. Does that mean that if the purchaser never asked for said ring I would not return it? Yes.

In the event that there was an infidelity or something else scandalous on the part of the male member of the relationship is he entitled to want said ring back? Yes. Would I surrender said ring? This answer is a bit more complex. Why? If  “you” cause the demise of the relationship I would either keep it or make “you” take me to court to get it back. Regardless or whether or not I was awarded said ring “you” would have to sue me to get it back, so I still win for losing.  As bad as that may sound, I am so serious. I would want to do something that would not put me in jail to get back at him. Say what you want I’m not above it. As childish as it may it is I would have no intentions on remaining amicable with someone who choose to propose marriage to me but gave up on doing right by me.

This brings me to a point made by one of my coworker months ago. What would you do with souvenir of you relationship gone horribly wrong? Sell or pawn it to the highest bidder. Why? Because said ring would have no further value than that placed on it by the one I would sell the ring to. The advice she offered was to indeed pawn the ring but only when you need to. She stated why pawn it before you have need to, keeping it would have gained you nothing. With that said I believe I concur.

I know that this is random but the blog post I read ignited this in me. Of course few people foresee themselves in a situations like this but it happens. I just decided to say what I would most likely to do if I was in this situation. I have never stated that I am perfect or above “trivial” things. But hey we’re still working on me. I hope if nothing else you think this is funny because it’s true.

Honestly taking in Devendra Banhart’s Lover in Frosty Ice.

-Imagoodgrl

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