So you may or, most likely, may not have noticed it’s been sometime since my last posting. And honestly I have been busy-ish but I have also been lazy-ish… Well more lazy than ish when it comes to this. But I have made a safe return. With the thoughts that have brought me here today.

So yea this is a part 3. Same purpose. Same theme. Same goal. 

Months ago I was searching for what would ultimately make me happy. And now months later I am not too much closer than I was back then. I know a little bit more than I did, as it pertains to life. Things are different. But I still do not know what will make me happy or what I am supposed to be doing with my life.

I have however started putting some of my plans into action. That, I do have to say, feels really good. From time to time, I see a guy that I was in training with at my job and he always mentions where I said I wanted to be years ago. It goes as follows, ” Oh you’re still here. I remember when you said you were going to be gone in a year. How long has it been now?” And when I run into him I get annoyed that he brings it up EVERY time I see him. But the bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1:

 To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

What does that mean? I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And that feels good.

I wanted to write this blog a few days ago when a friend of my got really good news. When I met her years ago I told her (Shanette) that she reminded me of another friend of mine (Shaie). Why? Because these women are two the most focused women I know. When they put their minds to something they do it. And neither of them having a perfect life but whatever life throws their way they continue to be goal minded. It is a pleasure to see. And both of them have personalities do not disappoint. So as I move forward with this journey that I am on, I take the wisdom and knowledge from those around me. I thank God for the ability to be close enough to see your greatness.

So Congratulations to Shanette on the new journey that you are embarking on.  I’m going to come down to Atlanta to visit. And shout to Shaie for being the person you have always been. Love you both!

Refreshingly taking in Hillsong’s Lead Me to the Cross and Fred Hammond’s Awesome God while in the fog.

So today I had a conversation with one of my out-of-state best friends. We were talking about what I consider typical things that young women of our age talk about. The Future. I was telling her that I plan to move across the country within the next few months and the other life changes to come. While discussing that. I was telling her that I am unsure what I really want to go to school for. Lately I have been recreationally in school. What does that mean? I have taken classes but without any real goal. I started with one but now I am just not so sure.

As I was telling her about my lack of direction she asked me a question, “Do you remember how I figured [it] out?” I respond, “No I don’t remember.” She tells me, ” if you didn’t have to worry about money…..what would you [do] for free?”  The funny thing was my sister and I were talking about that very thing the day before. I jokingly told both my sister and my friend “i would be kim kardashian… u kno without the sextape and whore tendencies.”

But at that moment the light bulb just went off… I need to figure out what I would do for free that would make me happy. Make me feel like I was doing something with my life. Make me feel good after putting in a long days work. I then told my friend ” i guess i need to just sit down and write things down, pray … see what i come up with”

The bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 :

For I know the plans that I have for you’ says the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you not to harm you. Plans to give hope and a future.

I need to find not only my plans for me but God’s plans for me. So I have committed to finding what is going to be for me. Its crazy, she’s not the first person to ever say this but today was the day I was really ready to hear it. So this is another journey to add to the forward movement of my life.

So shout out to Shaie Michele for being on time.

Enthusiastically taking in Our God by Chris Tomlin while wearing High Maintenance.

 My life brings some interesting things. I am a work in progress… That used to be my prayer… Lord allow me to continue be a work in progress… I guess I say was but it is still I have not reached the point in my life where I could stop progressing. I think about this because I have been able to see the progression in my life between what is and what was. 

 Few months ago, I cut all communication with my ex but months earlier to that I ended the relationship. The reason I ended all communication with him was because I was moving on with my life and I didn’t see him as a part of my forward moment. So imagine my surprise when I get a message on Facebook from the ex that I excommunicated a few weeks ago. In all honestly I was caught off guard but I thought it was little comical that I received a message from him telling me that he was sorry he had gone so long without being in contact with me when I told him I no longer wished to have communication with him. In response I told him that I still did not want any contact with him. I decided to respond to the message because I thought that not responding to the message would subliminally imply that I was trying to avoid him. He responded to my message pleading for me to reconsider and not to hate him. I responded to him letting him know that I do not hate him but I am over it. 

 That is what has brought me to the blog today. How do you know when you are truly over someone? Some would argue that it is once you are met with that person or remnants of that person and you don’t feel anything. To that I would like to point out that feeling are typically fleeting. Some could argue it is once you don’t think about them any longer. To that I ask, if you are in love with someone but you have a busy life and you haven’t thought about them for a little time does that mean you are over them? How would I answer? I believe you are truly over someone when you don’t need to overly try to connect the dots. 

 How could have I overly tried to connect the dots? I could have told him that I had moved on and what my life is about now. I could have told him that I am happy in my life. I could have said that I am in love with someone who offers all the things that he couldn’t. I could have said that I have never felt this way in my life. My problem with all of this is that if ever someone needs to do all of this it’s because they feel some kind of way. There is a song by Latoya Luckett named Regret and in this song she is telling an ex that he must regret the day that he left her. She goes through all of things that he doesn’t have because he left her. Ludacris is featured on the song and he is telling Latoya all the things to tell her ex about how much better he is than her ex. When I first heard this song I was thinking about how much she must miss this dude. To go through all the trouble to say all the things he misses out on and then her “new dude” to go over state the obvious, well obvious if she had move on. 

 When I was a freshman in high school there was a girl who I had “beef” with, her name was Crystal. Now this “beef” stemmed over a guy apparently, well so I was told. All I knew was at some point I was talking to this guy on the basketball team and somewhere between us talking and him asking me out he got with Crystal. I was cool on him at that point. Well Crystal and I had a class together. She comes to me one day and tells me that she didn’t know that he was talking to me. None of that was a big deal. Okay he liked her more than me; I was a big girl about it. Over time Crystal began to get short with me. She was out of nowhere giving me advice to “get guys”. I guess because I wasn’t too receptive of her “advice” she took it as I was jealous of her and her two-minute relationship with the guy I was once talking to. Fast forward the story escalates to her telling her senior cousin to that cousin trying to talk to me to her cousin idol threats to her going on home study because she “felt threatened by me”. I was upset because in this whole “beef” I was never threatening toward her or anyone else she tried to have “step” to me…  I was most upset with the fact that through the school people would ask me why I disliked her so much over a guy. So they believed I ran her out of school because I was jealous. Now the thing is this story was false because if she actually felt she was in danger our school would have been if that were the case…. Well after that I had a hatred for her because she had portrayed me as someone I was not. Well about 3 years later I saw her in a store and I was not upset with her. I did not try to prove myself. I spoke to her and went about my day. I could have told her all the things that I wanted to tell her when I was younger person but it would not have mattered at that point. 

 All that said to say that moving on doesn’t have a timeframe but it does have signs. I know that when I am over something it not only cause me to act a certain way but I don’t think a certain way. I have grown up so much more than people may know. I am excited about the progress that God has allowed me to make. I am far from a finish product but I am all about my forward progress… We will move forward in 2010. 

 Alluringly taking in Tamia’s Can’t No Man while being a flirt. 

 -Imagoodgrl