So there’s a thing happening on Friday, January 20, 2017 I don’t know if you know but President Obama is sick of our crap and he’s leaving us. While the prior sentence may not be actually true, it sure feels true. The bottom line is Greatness out, ridiculousness is in. Donald Drumpf¹ was elected and he’s about to be y’alls president.

Over the past few months since this fate was decided people have met with the not yet president about stuff and things. This time last week the Original Effie White of Dreamgirls, Jennifer Holliday, was being dragged on the internets for agreeing to perform at an Inauguration celebration or ceremony. After the Internet got to her, she was not only pulling out of the performance but apologizing. In a statement she said she wasn’t aware that this performance would be seen as a political statement. She didn’t know how much it would have hurt her fans, specifically in the LGBTQ community. Okay. Crisis averted?
Until Monday when the rumors start swirling with the next round of people asked. On the list of people asked to participate in the inauguration festivities was my girl Chrisette Michele. My only thought was I hope she’s not doing this. Wednesday comes and it is being confirmed, not by her, that she will be performing.  About two hours before I began writing she released a statement…

“My heart is broken for our country, for the hopes of our children, for the fights of those who came before us.

I cry at the thought that Black History, American History might be in vain.

This country has had great moments. God has shined His light upon us.

Today, I hope that Great Moments begin in peaceful & progressive conversation. I am willing to be a bridge. I don’t mind “These Stones”, if they allow me to be a voice for the voiceless.

I am here.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. once said, “Our lives begin to end, the day we become silent about what matters,”. I am here, representing you, because this is what matters.” – Chrisette Michele


Anyone who knows me that I am a long time fan of hers. So this saddened me.
While I won’t be meeting with Drumpf in this lifetime or the next, I actually don’t care that people of my communities have a sit down with him. If you have a platform that is on his radar and you feel the need to sit down to discuss whatever you feel the need to discuss, that is fine. My issue specifically has been when various Black celebrities and “leaders” have met with him both pre and post election for everyone to leave the meetings seemingly speaking in riddle and and rhyme. No one says “I met with him and we talked about this specifically and he said this specifically and I have a good or bad feeling that he understands and that this important to him.” No substantive talking points at all? “It was a great meeting. I talked. He talked.” And always little to nothing else. It makes it seem like they were just happy to be in the room. Being in the room is not enough. Tell me what happened in the room. The lack of transparency seems shady. So when people in various communities see this, they may be confused or feel betrayed, especially when they supported your career. By the way, Kanye West and Steve Harvey never spoke for me anyway.
 Again I don’t have an issue with people meeting to speak with Drumpf, I won’t but you can. While I’m on this point, not that meeting a president has ever been an option extended to me but, the reason I will not meet with him is solely because I refused to give him the respect that someone who holds that office deserves. So there’s just that. I believe, maybe naively so, that possibly there could be some good out of a conversation, even if its with him. Oh but where I draw the line is at using you talent for the entertainment of him and his people.
See that full circle, we’re back here just in time for Jennifer Holliday and Chrisette Michele. I find it very hard to believe that with all the statements this man has made about ALL types of people that anyone who did not support him is surprised that a performance during this inaugural season would be well received. I can however believe that Jennifer Holliday may have seen this as an engagement for a President and that people would see it as such. It’s not. And they didn’t. After receiving the backlash, Jennifer Holliday determined it wasn’t worth it and got out of dodge. But not so for Chrisette Michele.
So as a long time fan what struck me most was 1) the delayed response and 2) the alleged reason why. Monday is when the speculation started. Thursday morning is when she confirmed with the statement above. While she did make other posts she said nothing about whether or not she was performing. Before she released her statement, it was being reported that her team trying to keep the performance under wraps for as long as possible especially since Jennifer Holliday received so much backlash. While she has not admitted to this speculation I believe it is true. Why? She had a chance to be forthright and decided against it. She knew that had agreed to perform before anyone else but she waited until it was “leaked” to eventually say something. I can assume that no less than 90% of her fan base is against  Drumpf and his sentiments and she knew that. It doesn’t matter how long you kept this a secret when it did come out your base would not be happy. Lil’ Mo spoke on her radio show about how she reached out to Chrisette and what Chrisette told her, which can be seen here. In the video, Mo talks about  how Chrisette says she’s at peace with decision. If that were true why not say in a very direct statement that you are performing and that you feel like its the best decision for you. Say the check was nice. Say whatever is real and true. Say anything other than a statement that lowkey implies that you are sacrificing yourself for the greater good. How is performing for Drumpf bridging the gap between his base and yours? Outside of your performance how are you giving “voice to the voiceless.” But don’t act as if performing for people who largely don’t know who your are, and don’t appreciate your talent, is being a bridge or the bigger person. It’s not. You are being a pawn. Stand behind your choices. Don’t shy away from it. The statement itself doesn’t make much sense so… you could have kept it. Last but not least, the Bible says in I Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good Character.
The bad company is Drumpf, hopefully the good character will continue to be Chrisette.
My husband asked me, “what are you going to do about ya girl?” I am upset as person who has been a fan for many years. Not because her beliefs don’t match mine. But because who I feel she presented herself to be, is not true to who she is. While I can generally separate a person from their art, because I have been such an intense fan of hers, I don’t know that I can separate the two right now. As of now, most of my social media handles are Imagoodgrl. Which are a nod to a Chrisette Michele song Good Girl. This blog is called If I had my way, which is the title of her first single. I have decided for now. I am not changing anything and I won’t be buying anything else either. If you choose to continue to support her that is fine. I shan’t. My money is one of my greatest resources and I will put my money where my mouth is.
D.L. Hughley put my sentiments about Drumpf in a most perfect way. I have titled this post after his words. I changed the title a bit to be more family friendly.  I do however say “eff you forever, maybe,” because I do have hope. Hope that maybe some good will come. And if that happens I will be happy. However I shall not change my position until Drumpf has changed his.
Somberly taking in Solange’s Weary in the bare.
¹ Drumpf is the surname of Donald Trump’s family. The name was changed by his grandfather to better assimilate to the United States. You can see John Oliver speak of Donald’s long lost surname here.

“When deciding to ‘fall’ in love with a married man make [sure] that it’s your own husband #howaboutthataliciakeys”

That was my twitter tweet early one morning after see that Alicia Keys and boyfriend/ fiancé (legally married producer Swiss Beats) made their first public appearance on a red carpet, after dating for over a year. I want to make this very clear: I am not attacking her celebrity status but her actions. I don’t have a vendetta against her and I don’t know her personally, but I can’t sit around and act like she’s not participating in a very lowdown situation…

In the news as of late, many women in the black entertainment community find themselves in relationships with men that are legally in relationships with other people. It doesn’t matter who it is or why they do it or even what the intentions of other party is, it’s not okay. That’s it. Today after I sent my best friend a copy of my twitter post which lead him to post a question on his facebook status.

                How many people support people having relationships with another person who is already married? Ok, how about being engaged to them? Hmmm so why do yall still support Alicia Keys??? Think about it…smh

The responses were frightening, people saying that you support them based on their talent not their lifestyle. My retort? You can’t support one without supporting the other. Through the back and forth I advised that it’s not something personal to Alicia Keys or Swiss Beats but the situation they were in, negating that they didn’t feel that her lifestyle warranted my removing my support from her.  My stance is this any consumer has the right, no, the responsibility to uphold their private beliefs. If you believe in something strongly you should stand up for it. They believed otherwise. I also offered that a consumer has the right to decide not to care, yet they offered the consumer should not be concerned.

My issues stretch beyond this instance it’s on the principle that marriage is to be respected and by engaging in extramarital activities it’s not respecting that marriage. I don’t understand it. I read an article on and Swiss Beats wife was saying that she believes that they (Alicia Keys and Swiss  Beats) deserve each other, stating “only a certain type of woman would sleep with a married man…” I was thinking about that. I don’t see it as anything other than a self-esteem issue. For someone to decide that they will knowingly participate in a relationship with a married person, it speaks volumes. By entering that relationship do you dismiss the fact that they left their covenant to entertain a relationship without legally leaving that covenant? Does the fact that they are with you ease the silent fears that say they could leave you in the middle of the night and never return?  Or do you sleep with one eye open and your heart out of harms reach?

Another issue I have is the media’s portrayal of the situation… Because on these gossip sites and in the magazines they will  go hard on Fantasia about being in a relationship with a married man, yet comment on how cute a couple Alicia Keys and Swiss Beats are. Tiger Wood’s name is less than trash after he commits affairs and his jumpoffs1, not his wife, are the victims. The blogs are buzzing with these comments from these idiots saying that the spouses of these people deserve to be cheated on because they knew the industry that their spouses are in. Yet, if many of these commentators were in the position that these people are in it would be a different story. These commentators say that this is the direct result of not knowing their spouse yet in these particular cases they did not wed their spouses on a drunken night in Vegas. These people had relationships that they emerged themselves in and were rewarded for their commitment with infidelity, is this what people deserve? Does a wife deserve to go into a supermarket and see on the racks the cover of a gossip magazine that her A-List athlete husband is cheating on her with numerous women? Does a husband deserve to go into a barbershop to find that his wife is the woman the guy in the chair next to him is having sex with? Why does the fact that these people are celebrities versus ordinary people affect how affairs are viewed?

And I don’t know maybe I live in a fictional reality. One that tells me that when I decide to commit to someone I should not have to share them with anyone else. Believing that our space should not be infiltrated by another or that I don’t have to subject myself to a tainted space. Maybe I’m peculiar or particular and believe I can’t compromise my heart for a half-hearted relationship. I love myself too much to settle for less than all of someone’s heart. I would never cross someone else’s marriage and there would be hell to pay if someone tried to cross mine.

A woman is like a tea bag, you never know how strong she is until she’s in hot water.

Eleanor Roosevelt


With clarity taking in Lyfe Jennings Let’s Stay Together and Destiny’s Child Soldier in cherry red.


1Jumpoff-  aka Sidepiece – can refer to a man/woman or mistress you have sex with on the side of your regular.